funny boys

While Porter was writing his letter to Santa, I told him to put a period at the end of the sentence.
"What's a peridid mom?"
"A period is what goes at the end of a sentence, like this" and I put a period at the end to show him.
"Oh! That's just a dot Mom."

I drop Bridger off at school about 45 minutes after Porter, it's quite a bit of time but not enough to make it worth it to drive back home. So we try to find things to do close to their school. One morning I took Bridger to the park. The sun was out, but for some reason I didn't realize that the wind was blowing... and it was cold. We spent exactly 2 minutes at the park before we ran back to the car and once inside Bridger looked at me and said, "Mom, let's not do bad ideas anymore, okay?"

"Bridger, what did you do at school today?"
"I made a hiccupotamus!"

While trying to get Bridger dressed, "Mom, I can't wear that shirt. It's a lunch shirt."
"It's not a lunch shirt... I don't even know what a lunch shirt is, but you can wear this shirt today."
"No, mom. It's a lunch shirt and we just had breakfast. I can't have a lunch shirt for breakfast."
"Why do you think it's a lunch shirt?"
At this point he opened the shirt to look at the label... it was a Fruit of the Loom shirt with picture of fruit on the logo... apparently these are lunch shirts and are not to be worn at breakfast time.

I was making bran muffins with the boys when I started to pour the All Bran cereal into the bowl.
Bridger looked up at me and said,
"Mom, I think that's poop cereal. But, it's probably not, and it's probably good for me."
It's good that he's figured out how to identify healthy food.

While trying to teach them about money and how much each coin is worth.
Me: "So, how much is a quarter worth?"
Bridger: "A gumball"

Back in the fall when we were out chopping wood for the winter, I was standing with the boys watching Kyle chop down another tree. We heard it come crashing down and as it did it took another dead tree out with it.
Porter turned to me and said, "Well, that was destructive!"

Porter fell in love with an Angry Birds shirt and wanted to wear it day in and day out for a while. One day he came downstairs wearing it and he had worn it the previous day. I asked him to go change his shirt because it was dirty.
Bridger looked at me and said, "It's dirty?"
Me: "Yes, it's dirty."
B: "Did he pee in it?"
M: "No, he didn't pee in it. He wore it yesterday and it's dirty."
B: "Oh... did he poop in it?"

Porter was outside watching a grasshopper that had an injured wing.
"Oh no, his wing got hurt! Wah Wah Wahhh!
For a while there, any time something sad happened he would make that sound... it was hilarious. A few too many cartoons perhaps?

Porter always says, "Achoo" after every actual sneeze... make me laugh every time.

Bridger was in the bathroom when I heard him yell, "Oh no! My underwear!"
M: "What happened to your underwear?"
B: "It fell down my leg pit!"
M: "What's a leg pit?"
B: "My underwear fell down it! It's in my leg pit!"
M: "Buddy, I don't know what a leg pit is."
He finally came out of the bathroom to show me that his underwear had slid down into one of his pant legs... apparently the pant legs are leg pits.

Porter was trying to help me bake some cookies. I was holding the tray of cookies and I asked him to open the oven door for me. He put one hand on the stove and the other hand on the handle to try to pull it open. I told him not to put his hand on the stove at the same time as trying to open the door. He looked at me confused and continued to try and open it with the one arm stretched out over the open door. We went over this several times and he just got more and more confused. Finally I said,
"Porter, don't put your hand and arm above the oven when you open it, I don't want it to burn you."
"But Mom, I can't open it with my legs!!"
I hadn't realized that he thought I meant he shouldn't use his arms at all... guess I need to be more specific.

Porter thinks that my turn signals in the car are like GPS. He loves to tell me which way I need to go. I don't think he realizes that I control them yet... and I'm trying to decide when to tell him, cause he's getting really good at telling his left from his right!