funnies

I was walking down the stairs and there was a toy car on the bottom step. As I got close to the bottom step, Porter rushed towards me and grabbed the car as I stepped over the bottom step.
"Whew!! Mom, I just saved your life! You almost died! It's a good thing I got the car out of your way, huh Mom?"

Bridger. "Mom, you are beaubiful... that's Spanish for beautiful."

We sat down to play Hi-Ho Cherry-O  the other day and Bridger started giving me my options of what fruit I could be.
"Mom, I'm going to be cherries because I like red. Porter is going to be the blueberries cause he likes blue. So, you can be oranges or goobergobblers. What do you want to be?"
"What are goobergobblers?"
"The green ones... I don't know what they are, so they are goobergobblers."
"I'm pretty sure they're apples, buddy."
"Oh, right.  You can be oranges or apples."

Porter: "Dad, I think you're not going to like this... I swallowed some toilet paper... up my nose."
He had had such a stuffy nose and was trying to wipe out all the snot. Ended up shoving toilet paper up his nose to remove all the snot and accidentally shoved the toilet paper all the way up his nose until it could not be found or retrieved. Which then led to an Instacare visit to try and find the toilet paper wad (Porter has insisted that it was about the size of my thumb). When no wad could be found, we realized that perhaps he really did swallow it... I hope so... or maybe he's remembering it larger than it actually was. I really hope so.
And he learned his lesson not to shove things up his nose.