introspection...and a very long story.

Here is a picture of my boys. If you tune in to check out photos of the family, here it is...at the top of the post. That way, if that's all you really want to see, here it is.

This is one of those posts that I need to put up for me. Just for me so that I can remember how silly I really am. If you have no desire to read such a long post, I'm not offended in the least. I've put the picture of the boys at the top, so there is no reason to continue down if there is no desire.

I am so excited for the upcoming holiday season. Last year I had a difficult time really getting into it, and I'm happy to say that I'm not having the same trouble this year. I am already salivating over the idea of turkey and potatoes and pecan pie. I sing Christmas songs to Porter nightly...and I've even been scoping out a place to cut down our own Christmas tree. The crafty projects that I have in mind are soon to be put into action, and let's just say I'll have the most darling tree this year... with unbreakable ornaments for a particular redhead to enjoy. I also need a stocking for that little redhead and I plan on making a gift or two and starting on a quilt for the next possible little redhead.

With many projects in mind (4 right now, give me a little longer and I'm sure I can come up with more), I headed to our darling little fabric shop in town. This place has some of the funnest fabric I have ever seen and even though it's a little small, it has all the right stuff in it to make me stay there for hours on end.

Let me back up for a moment... this story needs a little bit of history...

One of my many problems is that I am not a very decisive person. No, it's true. I've known it all along, but I didn't realize the extent to which this is true until about 2 days ago. Maybe you didn't know this about me (if you didn't, you obviously don't know me very well...at all) but it's a cold hard fact. Whether it's where we should eat for dinner, what movie we should rent, or what kind of fabric should I use for this or that, I just can't do it. I especially can't do it without proper help.

That help used to come in the form of sisters or a mom. I used to live close to all of them. And when the need for such assistance would arrive, a much needed opinion and a possible reprimand of, "You're getting this one, right now because I can't stand to listen to you any longer." was only minutes away.

Now, I live all by myself, away from girls, and I have nobody but boys to ask if I have a need for an opinion. One of the things I love most about Kyle is that he is a very laid-back person...this causes a problem though when it comes to, "Do these jeans look too big, or will my belly continue to grow and fill them right out?" or "Which fabric do you like better, the green or the red?" And let me tell you that I have ran into difficulties this past week with both such questions. Both of which have led me to very interesting phone conversations with my mother or sisters...you see these types of questions are ones that should be asked in person. On the phone, these questions are not so easily answered, leaving the askee totally unsure of what to say and normally leads to them laughing their head off on the other end of the line, while, I, the asker starts feeling more and more stupid and homesick for female companionship.

Prior to leaving for the aforementioned shop I had the discussion about the jeans with my mother and my oldest sister (one person simply was not enough you see...I'm sick, I know). Being so indecisive, my answer to such a dilemma was to take pictures of me in said jeans and email them to said sister. Before I could take such pictures I started realizing my indecisiveness/silliness and chose not to send pictures. This would only be hard-fast evidence of my sad little quirk. Plus, it was a choice that should not require the use of photography, emails and a decision from someone 300 miles away, just so I could feel further validated in sending back the jeans because someone else said to do it.

So, I felt good heading to the fabric store with my new sense of independence. I headed in and quickly picked out the fabric for the ornaments, it probably took no longer than 10 minutes to do so (a record for me). Then came the time to pick out the fabric for Porter's stocking. 30 minutes later I was standing in the same spot I had been in for the past 30 minutes and was no closer to picking out fabric. I then started thinking about what I wanted it to look like, and how long it would take me to sew, and how much I wished that Kari was there to pick it out for me and show me how to sew it (ie. sew it for me). I had a favorite material picked out, but had no idea what to do with it or what other fabric would go with it.

At this point I figured I was being ridiculous and maybe I would go home, plan it out MYSELF and come back to pick out fabric after I knew what I wanted...maybe that would help me make my decision. So I headed up to the counter with my fabric for my ornaments. The cute girl at the store had been sewing and cutting fabric the whole time I was in there, and when I went up to the counter she looked at me and said, "You look like you're having some trouble. Do you need some help? Did you find what you needed?" Now, this was my chance! I could stand firm and make my own decisions. I could change the way that I function on a daily basis right then and there. All I had to do was say, "No, this is all I need right now, thank you."

But, being the little wuss that I am, I crumbled. I told her all about how I have no girls around to give opinions and how I'm a wuss and dependent on anybody else to help me with any small or big decision I make in my life...and, I needed help picking out fabric for a stocking for my little boy (okay so I didn't tell her about all the wuss stuff, but I'm sure she picked up on it all by herself...by herself, with no help from anyone else...).

I showed her my favorite material and she quickly helped me pick out something to make a very cute stocking. She then showed me the stockings that she was currently sewing, and walked me through how to make them. She answered all my questions, gave the opinions I needed and I walked out of the store 10 minutes later completely satisfied with everything that I had just purchased.

I realize now that I'm just a dependent person. I just need other people. I would go crazy all by myself and I'm grateful to have people around me who put up with all of my incessant questioning. I'm grateful to the cute fabric shop lady...she has no idea the help that she gave me that night. I'm going crazy not having girls around. I love my boys, and I'm tickled to death that another will join the ranks here soon. But, I also realize how much I need my momma and my sisters. So, thanks for putting up with me. I really appreciate it. And, thank you Kari for being willing to take a look at pictures of me and my jeans to give me your opinion, but I won't subject you to that.

It's time for a picture of the fabric that caused this much introspection into my life. Wanna see the fabric?

The top four will be for ornaments and the bottom two will be for Porter's stocking.

She did a good job helping me out. Thank you fabric shop girl.

Hey, do you think fabric shop girl would take a look at me in my jeans?

warmth

This past weekend we headed up to the mountains to gather more wood for the winter. I absolutely love our woodburning stove and it has been running non-stop for the past month. I love how toasty warm it keeps our house, and I tell you what... I plan to always have a woodburning stove in my home. Not only is it great to stand by when you get home on a frosty evening (or morning) and it can warm your little toes, but it's fantastic for the gas bill. Last year we figured it saved us over $100 a month to burn wood rather than use our heater.

So, with all the wonderful things that a wood-burning stove has to offer, we decided we'd better get more wood.

Now, Porter and I weren't a great load of help, but the boys did pretty well all by themselves. That's right, I said boys. John, my friend/co-worker/carpool buddy came to help us out. It was so nice of him to spend his day-off to help us haul wood. We're also very grateful to John's dad who let us use his truck for the day. With two trucks, two chainsaws and two tough boys cutting trees we ended up with close to 2 cords of wood. Just enough to make it through the winter.

Not liking the sounds of the chainsaws and falling trees, and being the curious child he is, Porter had to ask his Daddy lots of questions (that's what this cute face is). But, even with great reassurance from his Daddy and his Mommy, he was still a bit hesitant about the whole situation. So after I had hauled all the wood that me and my pregnant belly could carry, Porter and I camped out in the truck.

It was a great afternoon, a perfect day to haul wood.

Again we thank John and his Dad for all their help. Now, we get to stay warm all winter.

jumbled, rambling thoughts...

This past week has been a difficult one to get through for all of us. Porter came down with a runny nose last Monday, and it slowly decided to infest the rest of his body. And since Porter is so willing to give kisses (sometimes he's very insistent), it didn't take long for it to infect the rest of us. It was a strange head-cold-chest-congestion-upset stomach/don't-step-too-far-from-the-bathroom kind of illness that took its toll on the lot of us. And Porter weathered it far better than the other two wussies who live in this house. But, this week we are finally back on our feet.

With work this past weekend and tests for Kyle at the beginning of this week, there really isn't much to report. But, in the spirit of writing down things that happen in day-to-day life...here's what we've been up to.

*Kyle and I are getting so excited for this next little boy to come...he's kicking like crazy and it's strong enough that Kyle can feel it too.

*I've narrowed the quilt that I plan on making for this little guy down to 9 patterns...that's pretty good for me.

*Porter has learned where his nose is (and will show you when he's good and ready).

*He folds his arms for prayers and anytime that he sits down at the table.

*He loves to spin in circles until he's dizzy... he thinks it's hilarious and he falls over laughing.

*He loves to stomp his feet and also thinks this is so funny that he falls over laughing.

*We watched Kung Fu Panda last night (such a funny show...I highly recommend it!) It was the first time Porter has even shown much interest in the TV (other than the buttons that he pushes). This morning he was playing around flaying his arms and making all sorts of funny noises. All we can figure he was doing was trying to show us his Kung Fu moves. It was hilarious.

*This kid is so fun...he loves to help in any way possible. We went for our weekly shopping trip today and he helped me put all the food on the conveyor belt. He even helped the lady spin the little bag carousel...although he tried to spin them too soon, and she probably didn't want the help... but it's the thought that counts, right?

It's been a good week.

Oh, I still haven't had much time to be using my camera...but it is back in my possession. I love looking at my memory card when it's been so long since I did it. I had no idea what was left on my memory card. It's almost like finding a five dollar bill in your pants pocket that you didn't know was there.

This was my favorite...

I don't care what anybody else says... but I think these two like each other.

no pictures, just words (okay maybe one picture)

I wish I had my camera around for days like today. Although, it would have been difficult to record some of the things that I want to remember with photos, so I figure that doing it with words will be the next best thing (camera isn't lost, just far away at the moment). Things that I want to remember from today...

Porter running around the house yelling, "Wowwowwow" over and over again. Every once in a while he'll let out a single "wow", but normally that doesn't quite cover the excitement.

He also started folding his arms today when you ask him to, he's such a cute boy.

The rain, hail and beautiful gray skies. I love rainy days (when I don't have to drive in them).

Rented "Get Smart", and plan on watching it later tonight with my honey.

I purchased a(nother) tub of cookies and cream ice-cream. The Smith's Premium Select brand is fabulous. They practically have whole Oreos left in the ice-cream.

(does that even work; a(nother)?? I think so... I'm leaving it)

I held my head in shame for not registering to vote. I completely forgot that I had to register in this district. I remembered on Oct. 23... 2 days too late.

I held my head high, remembering that even if I had been able to vote that I wouldn't have been able to decide who to vote for. It possibly would have ended with me putting in a write-in vote for Kyle or maybe Charlie Brown...at this point I think either would be a better choice than what is available.

I fawned over the fun and adorable fabric that will become our little newbie's quilt. I just have to pick the pattern...and cut the fabric...and sew it...and get it quilted...and bind it... so it's practically done.

I played and played with Porter, soaking up every last bit of my last day off. I love spending time with this kid. He's just too freaking cute.

Oh, and I suppose I have some pictures that I probably haven't ever posted...since I know that there are Gramma's out there who look here daily for a photo.

This is a family shot when we were in Moab a few weeks ago (thanks Ellen).

Enjoy.